Overcoming Fear of Abandonment

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Fear Of Abandonment Ruins Your Relationships

If you are here, then you have already taken the first step. You are aware that managing your fear of abandonment is necessary for your growth as a person.

Separation anxiety sabotages your connections with others and disconnects you from yourself, your inner peace, and your emotional stability.

Fear of abandonment ruins the relationships that you are trying so hard to maintain. The fear of abandonment makes you needy, dependent, clingy, and lacking a solid inner center.

The Cycle Repeats Itself

As you conduct your interactions out of a deep fear of being left alone, you might walk on tiptoes, avoid communicating your needs and put others first at your expense. All that so you will not be rejected. But the exact opposite happens.

You are abandoning your true identity, acting desperate, and slowly, people you care about start moving away from you. This painful outcome reinforces the fear of abandonment that makes you repeat the same destructive subconscious patterns.

The Roots

Fear of abandonment usually begins in early childhood but, in some cases, is an outcome of traumas in adult life. Nevertheless, it is a primal fear.

Many adults who experienced abandonment or innocent and false interpretations of abandonment carry those painful events into their adult reality.

If you have separation anxiety, you haven’t necessarily been through abandonment, but it has burned in your memory.

When we were children, we all experienced the fear of abandonment every time the adult caregiver left us. Every time your mom, dad, or nanny left, you didn’t know when and if they would ever return.

If you didn’t have an adult figure to count on, the fear of abandonment could develop in two main directions:

1. Losing trust in people.
2. Looking for constant compensation for what you have lost in your childhood.

How Do You Behave When You Fear Abandonment

Without any awareness, you react to the fear of abandonment uncontrollably, irrationally, and disproportionally.

Your response to the circumstances when the siren of fear of abandonment is activated is the same response you have to danger.

A sense of abandonment generates difficult emotions of pain, deep-rooted fear, heartache, anger, disassociation, obsessiveness, possessiveness, dependency, confusion, sadness, anxiety, helplessness, feeling lost, and more.

Under What Circumstances Do You Feel Fear of Abandonment As An Adult?

There are so many situations when separation anxiety pushes the button that operates this mechanism.

Your brain associates those scenarios to the original abandonment experiences and responds to them like your life is in danger.

It triggers the survival mode in your Limbic System, and from that moment, when your Amygdala comes into play – the fight or flight part of the brain takes over, and your cortex is being shut down.

Ironically, this mechanism that is supposed to protect you, instead, causes you extreme suffering and makes your life so much more difficult.

The fear of abandonment is unconsciously running your life when you encounter situations that remind you of the experience of abandonment from your childhood.

For example, situations when you believe others are leaving you, ignoring you, not caring about your feelings, dismissing you, mocking you, not considering your needs, not listening to your words, or not accepting you and your opinions.

If you struggle with fear of abandonment, you probably can identify with the following scenario:

You are dating someone you really like. You have gone on a few dates and everything was wonderful. You call her to ask how she is doing, and she doesn’t answer.

An hour passes, and then two. You are starting to worry and your brain is spinning in circles – “it’s already 7 p.m. she should be done with work by now.

She must have seen my call. Why is she playing games with me? Maybe she is not interested anymore? I really don’t want to lose her. If I lose her, then what?

Finally, I have found someone who wants me, I can’t let her go! I will call her again to show her I care and see if she is still into me.”

You keep calling and she keeps on screening your calls. So you are calling again and again and again…

The funny thing is that she might not have answered the first time because she was swamped with work. Or asleep. Or her phone died. Or she just didn’t feel like talking, and all of that has nothing to do with you.

But your other calls, which stemmed from a state of fear and neediness, raised a red flag, and that might have brought her to lose interest.

Fear of Abandonment And Romantic Relationships

The problem with fearing abandonment is that it influences your functioning in intimate relationships. Fear of abandonment decreases your ability to develop a strong, resilient, and independent personality and keeps you in the state of mind of a scared, powerless child.

Your limiting beliefs, as a separation anxiety sufferer, are “I cannot handle this world by myself” and “if he/she leaves me, I am lost”, or “no one wants to keep me, I am not lovable”.

Your partner becomes the anxiety reliever, but they are also the one who triggers the fear of abandonment, and that is how your dependency builds up.

Your sensitivity is so intense that you experience every missed phone call and misinterpret words as a devastating separation.

Those traits make you seem unattractive, and this pushes your partner away. Your partner feels like a void filler, like you are choosing them by default for the need to have someone to love you and protect you, and not because of their unique personality.

In other cases, your abandonment issues lead you to places that harm your intimacy – you find it very difficult to trust and become vulnerable, you feel others always lie to you, and you can’t rely on anyone.

You become suspicious and look for the holes in your partner’s story. Moreover, it’s almost impossible for you to open up and express your needs, emotions, hopes, and passions.

You conduct your relationship with a handbrake and don’t allow yourself to flow because it seems too risky.

Fear of Abandonment, Friendships, And Social Connections

This abandonment programming ruins your romantic relationships and destroys your friendships.

You might weigh your buddies with non-stop communication, get attached too fast to new people without taking the time to get to know them first, and become secretly jealous when they spend time with other people instead of with you.

You also get hurt easily if your friends cancel or are not often available.

You try to say the right things, things you think they want to hear to sustain this friendship.

Many times you experience a fear of abandonment due to an event that happened only in your head.

This kind of behavior makes your friends not want to spend time with you, enhancing your fear of abandonment, lowering your self-esteem, and keeping you in that pain loop.

In your perception, you always feel you’re being left out, no matter how much people express their love to you with words or actions.

You Abandon Yourself

As the fear of abandonment makes you react to danger (even though there is no actual danger), you desert yourself.

You abandon your secure, mature, and responsible self. Instead, your energy is focused on someone else instead of your own peace of mind.

You neglect your calmness and stability for imaginary scripts that have no grip on reality. You abandon yourself every time you need reinforcement for being loved and desirable, instead of looking for the love and reinforcement within.

When Is The Fear Of Abandonment Good For You?

We all suffer from a fear of abandonment to some extent. This separation anxiety, as mentioned above, is survival programming and its role is to alert you to danger.

As social beings, we feel safe in the company of others. We seek connections and community. We thrive when we are supported, cared for, and loved.

The fear of someone leaving us, family, friends, and partners, is essential for developing the relationship when it’s done with the proper dosage..

The fear of abandonment motivates you to maintain relationships. It makes you accountable, you cannot do whatever you want in the relationship, because there is the risk of the other person leaving you.

Fear of abandonment, at reasonable levels, keeps you awake in the relationship and encourages you to invest time and energy. Of course, the fuel to maintain the relationship is love; however, it is almost always involved with the fear of losing..

Fear of abandonment turns into sabotage when your primary motivation to sustain the relationship is based on survival, without any proportion and awareness.

In addition, if you haven’t solved the abandonment issues, you will attract unavailable types that will trigger that fear in you again and again.

We usually attract people who resemble the childhood pattern we are familiar with because that is the only model of love we know.

How To Overcome Fear Of Abandonment And Bring The Control Back

You already know that your fear of abandonment, when unbalanced, can ruin you. Therefore, I have created this audio recording to overcome the fear of abandonment and separation anxiety.

The session is designed to help you alter the limiting paradigms that believe that: “if people don’t love me, I’m worthless”, “I am lost without people’s love”, and “I cannot afford myself to lose him/her”.

This session will bring you a healthy balance and deep understanding that the most important person will always be there – you.

This program will rewire your neural pathways and will build powerful conditioning. From a dependent and clingy individual, you will transform into a confident person.

The Fear of Abandonment Recording

This program includes subliminal messaging.

The subliminals are hidden suggestions that bypass your hearing threshold and by that, bypass your resistance. The affirmations reach directly into your subconscious mind. The unconscious is where all of your beliefs, patterns, and programming reside.

The fear of abandonment is rooted there as well; the destructive belief that says “I need constant reinforcement that others love me and want to be around me”.

The statements are highly influential commands specially designed to deal with the fear of abandonment.

They are accurately formulated and professionally recorded. Our knowledge and experience turn these mind-shifting formulas into fast results, which makes them the best program available today.

The suggestions will reach your unconscious, reshape your automatic paradigms driven by your fear of abandonment and convert them into a winning combination of independence, calmness, confidence, and security.

Your Life When Fear of Abandonment Is No Longer In Your Way

You will efficiently deal with the separation anxiety in your relationships. For example, you will stop being afraid whenever your girlfriend or boyfriend doesn’t answer the phone.

Your old automatic interpretation was, “she is sick of me, and she wants to leave .”From now on, your mind will look for positive interpretations that are not originated from the fear of abandonment, such as “she is probably asleep or busy. She is allowed to do other things and will get back to me when she can.”

You will give your friends the space they need, and moreover, you will want that space as well to enrich your private world.

Leave the fear of abandonment behind; you don’t need to drag it with you. This program will help your brain realize that you generalize current experiences with older ones.

You will finally understand that while you experienced abandonment in the past, you don’t have to continue to experience it now.

This session will strengthen the acknowledgment of your own power; you will trust yourself and enjoy spending time in your own company without needing approval and endless reinforcement.

Download ‘Overcoming Fear of Abandonment’ now and improve your relationships with others and yourself.

The affirmations

I am completely confident of who I am and the greatness I offer
It is ok to let go of control and fear
I choose to be only in relationships that make me feel good
I release the fear of losing others
I am always stable, secure, and safe when single and in relationships
I give my partner enough space to miss me
Letting go of controlling others balances my life
I am worthy, deserving, and valuable
I am the prize
I let go of needing others
The only person I need in this world is myself
My happiness comes from within
I am the only source who provides me happiness
I choose my relationships out of love
The emotions that guide me in relationships are love and warmth
I easily connect to feelings of love by myself
I can tune in to love at any given moment
I have the infinite ability to feel love as single and in relationships
I am emotionally independent
I warmly hug my inner child and give them love and care
Every day I am making a positive change
I am an enlightened human being
I become more evolved as I learn lessons from my relationships
I let go of my past
I happily leave my past in the past
It is ok to change and become a developed person
I love myself deeply
I joyfully release the fear of losing others from my mind, body, and soul